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Everything posted by Juanderful

  1. #1 DAVID DE GEA One year ago, he was the undisputed best keeper in the league and arguably the best in the world. But a particularly poor showing at the World Cup and the seeds of doubt had been planted (despite being infallible for the past 4 or so seasons before that). By the end of the season, Allison was the public's darling and following a series of poor performances, De Gea couldn't have fallen any further from grace. With his contract situation still unresolved, and therefore a question of his commitment being raised, you do need to wonder how this will all play out. It's not like we haven't been here before. We spend all summer flirting with 'will he/won't he' and cautiously preparing ourselves of the fact he might leave. But these things always seem to cross the line. And should he sign a bumper new deal with the club, that would likely see him remain at the club for the entirety of his prime. Turning 29 in November, time has seemingly caught up with him out of nowhere. I don't think many would object to this happening either, despite his wobble at the end of last year. It wasn't that long ago where he was making mistakes over the course of an entire season. It happens. Confidence is everything, especially for a Goalkeeper. I think long-term security plays a huge role in this and it's hard to tell who's blue balling who. I would now like to take this moment to present my second instalment of traditional Japanese Haiku's to our Spanish bastards. David. Sign da ting. Your distribution is whack. We love you anyway. Wonder what haircut he'll have this season.
  2. #10 MARCUS RASHFORD It's pretty funny to think about his rise through the team. He could have so easily have going the route of the Macheda or Ángelo Henríquez (I still think about that guy from time-to-time. He looked so natural). Despite being forced to the wing under Jose, all the signs are pointing towards Rashford now being the main striker in the team (having recently signed a 5-year contract of around £200,000 per week). To the point that should we sell Lukaku, I would wager that any replacement will likely being third choice behind Rashford & Martial. He's never had a high scoring season, and last year, despite playing mostly on the wing, he managed his highest scoring season yet. He's still only 21. His numbers by comparison to most players in this position are staggering and are only really dwarfed by Mbappe. On paper, he's one the best prospects in football today. Yet watching him play all of last season, it's so easy to get frustrated with him. Personally, I pen this down to a lack of form and confidence. Given the season to become United's main Striker, I think we will see another player emerge. One which closer resembles the player we saw when he broke out onto the scene where LVG gave the confidence ill-afforded by his predecessors. Or maybe he'll just bomb with the rest of the team? Time will tell.  Watcha
  3. Juanderful

    Luke Shaw 2019/20

    #23 LUKE SHAW I think the best way to summarise Shaw's career to date is through the following stats on league appearances: 2013—14: 35 2014—15: 16 2015—16: 5 2016—17: 11 2017—18: 11 2018—19: 29 In short, last season was the most we have seen from Shaw since his season at Southampton that prompted us to sign him in the first place. Until last season, it has always been a case of knowing he was a quality player but his form has always been broken up by injuries. Lady luck was on his side though and in the end, he picked up 3 Player of the Month awards for the club, being voted Players' Player of the Season as well as winning the Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year award (finally breaking De Gea's streak). Let's cross our fingers that he can turn out another 30+ games this season for us... Scoring his first Premier League goal
  4. Juanderful

    Ashley Young 2019/20

    Gets a lot of shit. Will probably get even more shit in Italy. But it's not often someone of his age leaves a club and arguably steps up (based on form and prospects for the season). Conte will turn him into one of the best FB's in the league, no doubt...
  5. Juanderful

    What Movies Are You Watching Right Now?

    Where are you even finding these films? Got them stored on VHS? I've not watched anything since Joker. Couple of Netflix films like Marriage Story, but nothing to write home about. Nothing has really grabbed my interest for ages. I do want to see 1917 mind.
  6. Juanderful

    Juan Mata 2019/20

    #8 JUAN MATA After so many years of making this thread, there's really not much more I can say. So instead, I have decided to sum up my feelings, and perhaps that which is echoed by the majority of fans out there, with a carefully crafted traditional Japanese Haiku: Mata. Mr Nice. He runs his own charity. Can't run down the wing. So nice that he apparently took a pay-cut to stay at the club
  7. Juanderful

    Phil Jones 2019/20

    #4 PHIL JONES Injured -> Perform -> Contract -> Injured (repeat) 2023. That's when Phil's latest contract extension expires. When he is fit and builds momentum, he is a capable footballer who will wear his heart on his sleeve and his brain in his socks. His willingness to throw his body on the line is the very reason he spends so much time in the physio room. This is what makes him so endearing. Fans love to see a player disregard their own well-being at the expense of their safety as it's a visual representation of how much they themselves would sacrifice for the club. Phil will never be short of supporters. Here's the problem. With the aspirations of the club - both historically and of the status they wish to obtain as one of European elites - having a CB who's best quality is his bravery just doesn't cut it. Defenders at the top of their game reach that level through their intelligence more than their ability to throw themselves around and cause pain to everyone that feels contact. Which sums him up. He is a puppy chasing a bone who gets blindsided by a tree. If he was being trained as a police dog, he would be released within a week of basic training. This is a key part of the cycle. Having spent so much time injured, he overcompensates to make up for lost time. But it feels to me that if he spent more time improving his mental game as he sits around waiting to recover rather than gnashing at the cast around his leg, he would be able to develop as a player. God only knows what he does to occupy his mind during all of these hours spent injured. Fingers cross then that he might actually develop as a CB this year and stays fit because he's playing a smarter game. He is only 27-years old, least we forget. I mean, he probably won't develop... but one can hope.
  8. #12 CHRIS SMALLING I think the fact that no one has made this thread until now is because collectively, we believed that if no one made the thread, he might just end up leaving the club through will power alone? And it very nearly happened. A reported loan move to Everton was rejected on Deadline Day but either he refused to move or the club wanted him as a squad option. Which is very much the story of his career. Just when you think that he'll disappear behind a better quality player, he plays his way into the team and ends up being the man to partner whoever is fittest at that moment in time. He's not first choice for United, he's long been off England's radar and he's not very popular with the fans for a lack of everything bar physicality. And yet, 1st July 2020, he will reach 10 years at the club. Ten years of Smalling. For a lot of fans, he is the symbol of our mediocrity. As though the day he is sold, a dark cloud will be lifted from the club. Yet he will leave having spent a decade at the club. From playing under the great Alex Ferguson to all of our transitional managers. If nothing else, you have to credit his dependability and willingness to keep forcing his way into the team when it was easier to move to a lesser club and actually be respected by the fan base. Maguire is here now (Chris Smalling + Phil Jones lite) and it's evident that Smalling's career will be nothing more than backup. Maybe he will be more tolerable in this capacity? Maybe he will outperform Maguire and sign a 3-year contract in December? Honestly, who knows. Turning 30-years old in November, his career is slowing coming to a close anyway. Might as well round off the decade and enjoy the most comical period of this clubs recent history whilst it lasts.
  9. Juanderful

    2019/2020: PL Matchday 18 -Watford vs Man Utd

    This team is honestly driving me to the brink. Bunch of fucking memes the lot of them. Give me strength man.
  10. Juanderful

    EFL Cup: QF - Man Utd vs Colchester

    Is anyone else listening to these insufferable cunts on Five Live Extra? Colchester fans. Worst commentary duo I've heard for years. Jesus wept.
  11. Juanderful

    2019/2020: PL Matchday 17 - Man Utd vs Everton

    More worried about this than I was City, to be honest.
  12. Juanderful

    Daniel James 2019/20

    Needs to start scoring more. Otherwise, has been impressive, though does go missing for chunks of the game.
  13. Juanderful

    Harry Maguire 2019/20

    Has basically made our defence worse, which is impressive Lindelof beat him to scoring a goal too which is pure comedy.
  14. Juanderful

    Tahith Chong 2019/20

    Not even half the player Januzaj was and we all know how that one ended. This guy is refusing to sign a new contract. Should be so grateful we're being so poorly run at the moment and snap their hand off. Long term, he might have a bit of a career in the Eredivisie, but I just don't see anything to be excited about. Rather we respected everyone's time and just ship him out on the cheap but with a sell-on clause should he ever be worth more than 30m to someone.
  15. Oh - he got the assist. Figured you knew haha
  16. You deserved that for having defensive united assets tbf
  17. Juanderful

    2020 Transfer Targets

    I'm guessing he means Depay
  18. Really?! I remember watching the first gameplay video when it was released and it just looked boring as sin. Poor level design, same structure as you play, boring gameplay and low enemy variation. A whole lot of flash but no substance. But maybe i judged it wrong? And what's the connection to dark souls? (as a huge fan of FS games, this comment peaked my interest haha) Is it even better than the first force unleashed game?
  19. Juanderful

    Jurgen Klopp - From Flop to the Top

    Keep going, i'm nearly there
  20. For those interested, here's a clip of the Russian commentator singing a song for Maguire that I mentioned...
  21. Had Ole taken action by subbing McTominay off earlier, this could have been completely avoided whilst giving Garner some more minutes. His subs, or lack there of, drive me mad sometimes.
  22. Should try the Russians. Whereas will you get chant reenactments when some lump heads the ball over the bar?
  23. Juanderful

    Brandon Williams 2019/2020

    He does have age on his side, to be fair. I've just largely been... whelmed. At least with AWB, he excels defensively. I wouldn't mind if your prediction turned out to be true, I just don't think management will decide to not buy a LB to give him a clear pathway into the team like they did with selling Lukaku to make Rashford the main forward.
  24. Have you heard yank commentators? I'd rather listen to silence. I've been listening to the Russians for years now. I actually don't mind it. Plus, most of the links are Russian anyway so I don't often get a choice.